I Predict--VICTORY!!!!!!!!!

I don't mean to brag, and I know I haven't blogged in a while, but I did win the best costume award at the Halloween party last Friday. Now sure, it was a small party of primarily English teachers, and it was the equivalent of winning the "pork queen" title in a small Midwestern town, but it was a victory nonetheless. When I get the video, which does the costume justice, I will post it, but for now, I will post a couple of pictures here.

Notes of Pride:

• The whole thing collapsed to fit in my car and assembled in minutes.


• I ran a light from the strand into the crystal ball to light it up.


• I wrote my own fortunes that dropped from the platform into the slot.


• I painted eyes on my eyelids for an authentic plastic, creepy look (shown in photo).


• The lights were activated by a start button and played a creepy song.


• I could actually move around pretty well, even in the booth.

The Mushroom Project

This is a story that I used to tell Lib last year that I never finished. She would claim that it was something I did when our relationship was "green" and exciting; it was a story she would have me tell when she couldn't sleep and she wanted to hear my voice--it was also a story that I would tell when I was tired and wanted to sleep, but I did get some really good ideas out of it, and while it was rough and impromtu, I have wanted to refine it and write it down, so I created The Mushroom Project. I need to imbue it with some overall purpose and meaning, but the plot, while scattered, will work. I don't know exactly where it's going, but I decided to make a blog so I would have more satisfaction than just starting at Microsoft Word knowing no one would ever read it. The only real issue is that the order will be posted in reverse, but I'll worry about that when it becomes an issue. Until then: http://www.themushroomproject.blogspot.com/

Every Bald A-Hole II

Today, I was in a parent-teacher conference, and a very nice woman came to check on her son's performance. As I wrapped up the conference, she asked, "Were you in Salt Lake City this summer?" Now, I have never been to Salt Lake City, and nothing against the Mormons, but I can see no real reason for going there; more importantly, why would an woman ask a teacher if he had been to Utah? So I said no, I had never been there, and she replied, "Oh, it must have been someone else." ???????????????? I guess she thought she had seen me. Once again, I guess any bald a-hole with a goatee must be me. Speaking for rugged, bald men, I am getting sick and tired of being depersonalized--just last week, a woman asked me for help in the hardware section of Wal-Mart because obviously, I worked there, and this is not the first time: I have been asked for assistance at Costco, Home Depot, Target, and Lowe's. What the hell does a white, bald man with a goatee have to do to break through this stereotype? We just want to know how to be seen as individuals, and not some stock handyman who can help with any home improvement question. And for the record, no we do not all know each other.

Tiger Mountain Peasant Song

I first heard Lib's sister and her friend sing this with a ukulele before I heard the original Fleet Foxes version(is it really a version if it's the original?), which were both incredibly beautiful, but not as good as these two Swedish girls. Also, the girl on the right reminds me pictures of my mother when she was younger and reminds me my niece too, which is nice since I don't get to see them much.

I'm Your Ooogie Boogie Man!

I was looking through my old emails this weekend and I came across these pictures from six years ago when I went to the Hasbro Halloween party. I spent a week constructing my OogieBoogie, and it was the last time I really put any effort into into my costume.

Between a lack of inspiration and life getting in the way, I just haven't really lived up my standards, but that is all about to change. I can't reveal anything prior to this year's party because there is a contest, and if I can pull off my costume idea (which I'm not too worried about), I may be able to take the grand prize; the only thing that kept me winning at the Hasbro party was my friend Jared (right), a guy who grew his beard for over a year to be the perfect Jack Sparrow and the fact that there was no competition, but I was told we were all pretty close, even though Jared converted a case of beer to a Duff case that played the Duffman song. Not bad for competing with toy designers--a party full of teachers should be easy pickings. Mwahahahahahhaahhahahahaha!

Here's a shout out to the rest of the gang:

• Rico as Scorpion
• Phil as The Jerk
• Clint as 80's Clint
• Christie as Clint (the nail polish on the tooth was perfect!)
• Jennifer as Gem
• Travis as Slash

Was it all a Dream?

Here's an interesting story. Yesterday I was at one of the local establishments having a couple of beers (a few laughs) with some of my friends, and I discovered something very intersting about an experience I had at one of their houses.

Some time back, maybe a year and a half ago, I was staying over and slept in his basement--it was anything but restful. I had one of those waking dreams where I believed that I had awoken, but I couldn't move. There was the presence of a man walking around me who was not happy, a very menacing figure. It was a spirit;I remember him being tall and shadowy, and I remember being paralyzed and afraid of him. He had no features outside of the shape of a man, and he did not want me there; that was very clear. It came from the stairs and circled me. I kept trying to wake up, but in the "dream" I was awake. I'm still not sure, but it was very creepy. I never said anything because I just assumed it was a dream, even though it seemed real.

Yesterday, I was talking to his girlfriend, and she was telling me how when her friend came to visit who is "sensitive," they asked her about the house, if there was anything going on in his place(at this point in her story I started telling her the details before she said them to see if they jived). I said "it is in the basement"; the friend had said the basement stairs (I slept at the foot of them). I said it was not happy but not evil (the same words that her friend told her). I said it was definitely male, but I don't think the friend gave a gender. I could see that my interjections were creeping her out.

Coincidence? There is actually a pretty good chance it was coincidence. If you had to name a creepy place in anyone's house, the basement would probably be the first. His basement is finished and nice; I've never felt creeped out in the slightest down there before, and it's not like I haven't been down there since--I just don't care to sleep down there, that's all. "Unhappy but not evil?" Well, I think that would just about sum up most ghost descriptions--how many happy ghosts have you heard of? I just think it's interesting and possible.

Did You Mean This Culvert?

Well, Brandmanager, I just wanted to say: I saw your comment on my punching machine post(very esoteric), and if this is the guy you are talking about, then I agree wholeheartedly.