The other day, my students in my class of thirty were a little loud, so I just stood in the front of the room and raised my hand with four hardly extended fingers in the air, and the students immediately became perplexed and silent. It turns out that everything I need to know about classroom management, I learned in fourth grade.
I explained to my students that in fourth grade, Ms. Preuter would hold up her hand in the lunch room or assembly, and if you got up to four fingers, you had best shut it. I then proceeded to tell them all about her. I explained how she would spank us in front of the class on our birthdays and give us candy. They thought it was the strangest thing they had every heard; I remember loving it. I explained how we earned points throughout the year to spend in her point store at the end of the year, and how I saw the challenger explode in her room over and over in 1986.
If you were in kindergarten through third grade, she seemed like the scariest, meanest thing on the planet, and I remember dreading getting into her class. I remember how grown up the fourth graders were to put up with such a tyrant; I used to think that when I got to the fourth grade I was really going to have to get my affairs in order and be diligent if I were going to survive. It was a milestone.
I remember how wonderful and caring of a teacher she actually was. There was nothing to be afraid of, unless you screwed up. When you're ten, you have the ability to create and imagine things like monsters in your closet or for your homeroom teacher, and even though I had Ms. Watkins, who was equally wonderful, my afternoons with Ms. Preuter were nothing like I had imagined and I still haven't gotten my affairs in order, but she was a wonderful teacher, and while my students couldn't fully appreciate the accuracy of my impromptu sketch, I figured some of my readers might.
I bought a NASA shuttle model with my points. Only to find out someone stole it from the table while she wasn't looking.
ReplyDeleteGood rendition. Next sketch should be Father Trick.
As soon as I saw the picture I knew who it was! I fully agree with your description of Ms. Preuter, and equally dreaded having her for a teacher. It turns out that she was one of my favorites. Thanks for the trip down memory lane!
ReplyDeleteit IS gay that you and liz have the same birthday, unless you spank each other like Ms. Preuter did.
ReplyDeleteand am i NOT going to the Mutter Museum. no way.
your sketch is rough, however your description of ms. prueter is apt and forgive me...( christopher walken ) spot...on. It is terrifying how our teachers influence us...for good for bad, light side of the force or dark...they wield such power. We, as if some primary fungus, find moisture nearly everywhere, yet find just the perfect amount of light;in such rare quantities. and bloom; overnight. I'm ,flooded with such fond memories thinking of her. She was my home room teacher, and once overcoming the fear...I felt as one of her warriors. I would have been the "butter-bean" of hobbitts and attacked like a rabid jack russel terrier on anyone saying something negative about her. Your birthday...as well as anyone who had a birthday through the year...was awful AND delightful. I remember getting my spankings and then I had to sit on her lap until the girls in class would beg her to let me go. (Feel like royalty...Bon Jovi has nothing on me...) Once you got past the total humiliation of the public spankings...you instantly went to the level of most eligible bacelor on earth (still for fourth grade ). Furthermore, if you didn't get your satisfaction from the opposite sex begging for your release...( and shame on us for wanting more...) you knew that you would suffer ONE day and you could relish in someone else's discomfort the REST of the year. What a perfect way of teaching we all our the same...some days you eat the bear...some days the bear eats you. Fond...very strong memories...I don't think it is much stretch, at least in my experience/memory...( eric, I know you will like this) teachers are the jedi of our age. Ms. Prueter is greatly less attractive than Yoda...I have her to thank for my sense of self worth and humility in one simple exercise. Teachers/Jedi incorporate multiple lessons camoflaged in each other. May the force be with us... P.s. Yoda told me that sharing a birthday is gay...sorry, just a fact...don't shoot the apprentice...
ReplyDeleteI would be more than remiss, and considered a charlatan for all history if I omit a very very important lesson taught by Ms. Prueter...although I believe it was taught strictly inadvertantly, and by complete luck/ whim of the force. The lesson : Balancing The Scale: Hot from Not; Females In Your Life As An Adolescent Boy.
ReplyDeleteOnly by comparison...Ms. Prueter averaged ( at least in my mind ) a 0 out of 10 ( pre-teen boys are bitter and cruel judges) and conversely, Mrs. Watkins was a 10. But now that we are older and more at one with the force, Ms. Prueter moves to a solid 1 or maybe 1.5 out of 10 and the lofty perch Mrs. Watkins had at 10 is now ( one we fellows have the force, and can distinguish ) a 5 at best. I'm not kidding...there is a BIG difference between a 9 and a 10; a 1 and a 2... You need only walk in our shoes for that year in fourth grade
Funny I saw the sketch first and knew just who it was. I have fond memories of her too, but I don't remember the birthday thing. I do remember Mrs. Watkins marble jar. Strange how some things stick and others don't.
ReplyDeleteJust looking at that sketch brings back the most utterly contemptible feeling of guilt for talking during "singing practice". But despite crying everyday during the last days of summer after I found out she would be my teacher she was THE BEST! I remember talking in her microphone to answer questions and the stickers you would get on your card for winning a flash card race! I could only ever do it on multiplication tables. Thanks for bringing back the memories! Your blog is hysterical I was looking at Mrs. B's Facebook page when she friended me and found it!
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