I always feel a little strange and a little proud when I buy condoms, especially when I have to ask for them specifically. Once in Brooklyn, I was picking up some on the way back after a night out, so as the guy in front of me was making his purchase, I was staring over his shoulder weighing my options, and, evidently, the Polish lady behind the counter was familiar with the "I'm on my way home to get laid after being out at the bar with my girlfriend" look, and yelled, "Estra Larch?" I wasn't clear on what she meant, so I asked for clarification and she repeated, "Estra Larch? in her thick, Eastern-block accent.
I have never been ashamed of my penis size, and I have never had any complaints, but at that moment, I was faced with the choice of buying "estra larch" condoms I couldn't use or admitting that I just needed regular sized, which may not seem like a big deal, but as a man, you do want to say, "Yes. As big as you have, please." It would probably feel like you have graduated at the top of your class when they hand you your diploma, shake your hand and then you make a speech about how you are going to use them in the future, but at the same time you don't want to have to tie the condom on like a bandanna to keep it secure. So I had to openly admit in front of all the clientèle that I had an average penis, which is harder than you might think.
Just for the record: this is the smallest I could make the image to fit on the screen if that tells you anything about estra larch.
Yah right. You replied... "Thimble and a bandaid is fine too."
ReplyDeleteWow! This is exactly what I'm talking about. I don't even know Lollercopter, but in the dog-eat-dog world of machismo, admitting an average penis only gets you public shame from strangers--you can understand my aforementioned hesitation.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I am rolling here in laughter - not your your average sizeness, but at this post and the stranger comment. Really?
ReplyDelete