Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Every Bald A-Hole II

Today, I was in a parent-teacher conference, and a very nice woman came to check on her son's performance. As I wrapped up the conference, she asked, "Were you in Salt Lake City this summer?" Now, I have never been to Salt Lake City, and nothing against the Mormons, but I can see no real reason for going there; more importantly, why would an woman ask a teacher if he had been to Utah? So I said no, I had never been there, and she replied, "Oh, it must have been someone else." ???????????????? I guess she thought she had seen me. Once again, I guess any bald a-hole with a goatee must be me. Speaking for rugged, bald men, I am getting sick and tired of being depersonalized--just last week, a woman asked me for help in the hardware section of Wal-Mart because obviously, I worked there, and this is not the first time: I have been asked for assistance at Costco, Home Depot, Target, and Lowe's. What the hell does a white, bald man with a goatee have to do to break through this stereotype? We just want to know how to be seen as individuals, and not some stock handyman who can help with any home improvement question. And for the record, no we do not all know each other.
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6 comments:

  1. SyntaxinOctober 15, 2009 at 12:10 AM

    I feel your pain. Asians have the same problem. Apparently we all know each other and are possibly related too. And, where you get asked questions at the hardware store, we get stopped at the computers and electronics sections of every superstore but never at the DMV.

    Just one more piece of evidence that underneath the bald, goatee-wearing, ugly mug of yours, you're just an Asian at heart. You're one of us, Anak ng araw. :)

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  2. Chad's brotherOctober 15, 2009 at 5:07 AM

    I have a suggestion. The next time someone asks you for help in Home Depot, find the heaviest object near you and hit them in the face with it. You may have to do it twice; because the first strike will cause such shock that you, an "employee", would strike a customer in the face with a Dewalt cordless drill; that the intended pain is delayed. A second vicious shot to the solar plexus should drive home the point that you are not the "nice guy" that your face miscommunicates to perfect strangers. Follow my method and you will soon shed the " Can I help you " aura. As they lie there bleeding, and before you walk way, inform them that bandages and first aid supplies are on the other side of the store. Purposely send them away from medical supplies. Give people bad directions and they never ask again. One warning about using this method...you may get lumped into the "crack-smoking, super-violent, motorcycle gang member stereotype". Now, THAT reputation is hard to repair. Good Luck

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  3. ericOctober 15, 2009 at 7:17 AM

    First, no one knows I'm Filipino unless I am speaking Tagolog (sp?) and secondly, it's not that I have a friendly face; quite the contrary, the same salt-of-the-earth look that makes me look knowlegable about tools and lumber, makes me look like a white supremesist(because male-pattern baldness does not leave a lot of fashion choices)so some people steer clear of me for no real reason, but I guess that's the choice I made when I swore to never have a comb-over.

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  4. Don OsoOctober 15, 2009 at 9:10 AM

    Hmm. You sure she's not confusing you for the nubile young ski instructor she "met" after a few drinks during a late season "business trip" to Beaver Mountain Resort?

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  5. DaveOctober 17, 2009 at 8:15 AM

    grow some hair. that's what i did.

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  6. staceypantsOctober 18, 2009 at 10:41 AM

    Oh Sode... Shaving your head IS the comb-over of 2009....

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